Hold the Plan Loosely
Designing a life that can flex without losing its meaning
I found an old business notebook the other day, the kind with a cracked spine and a stack of sticky notes that lost their stick years ago. Inside were timelines, targets, big dreams, and a confident little checklist that basically said: do everything right, and life will cooperate.
It made me smile, and it also made me tender. Not because planning is foolish, but because I remember the moment I learned that a perfect plan can still meet imperfect timing.
The core of it
Chapter 14 takes me back to a season when I co-founded a software company. We did everything “right” by the textbook. We had a strong team. We researched the market. We designed the roadmap. We built a platform that was elegant, powerful, and ahead of its time.
And that was the problem.
We built something beautiful that the market did not know it needed yet.
That experience taught me a lesson I have carried into every part of my life since: planning is wise, but clinging is dangerous. A plan is supposed to serve you, not trap you. A plan gives you direction, but flexibility is what keeps you alive when life hands you new information.
Flexibility is not flakiness. It is maturity. It is the willingness to say, “This is what I thought, and now I know more.” It is the courage to adjust without spiraling into shame. It is learning to test, listen, and refine, instead of building the whole house before you have even checked the ground.
If you are dead set on one outcome, one title, one location, one timeline, you can miss the better thing sitting just off the path. You can also miss the person you are becoming in the process. I have learned to aim, but with open hands. I have learned to design a life I can grow inside of, not a life that collapses the moment the weather changes.
Eheye’s Perspective
“Because a good life isn’t just about reaching the destination. It’s about staying awake along the way.”
A gentle prompt for you
Where are you gripping a plan so tightly that you cannot hear new information?
What is one small experiment you could try this week that keeps you moving without overcommitting?
If your plan had room to breathe, what might become possible?
How I’m holding this now
These days, I still plan. I just plan differently. I leave space for reality. I listen for feedback. I pay attention to what energizes me and what drains me, because my body tells the truth faster than my ego does.
On the podcast, I hear the same pattern over and over. People are not afraid of change, they are afraid that change means they failed. Chapter 14 reminds me that adaptation is not failure. It is wisdom in motion.
A small invitation
If this moment speaks to you, the book goes even deeper. Get your copy of Experience Over Expectation and join me in choosing presence over performance. Get Yours on Amazon.
Dear Mary,
This is just the dose of direction I need to begin my week. I especially appreciate this:
How I’m holding this now:
"These days, I still plan. I just plan differently. I leave space for reality. I listen for feedback. I pay attention to what energizes me and what drains me, because my body tells the truth faster than my ego does.”
Something I working on something back in 2007 but it had to be put on pause. It has resurfaced in a new location and has rich fine soil to be tilled.
I am enjoying your book a second time on Audible. What I especially appreciate is that you have narrated it yourself. When an author narrates their of own body of work, you can hear their heartbeats:)
Thank you so much,
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